The Flirting Bible

Last year, my old roommate received this book as a White Elephant present.  What a gift.  Every night for the next couple of weeks, we would all sit down and study this guide to being a "fabulous flirter".  Some of the tips given seemed like they would be affective and others.....not so much.  For example, you know that humiliating moment when you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on your shoe?  Well, according to the Flirting Bible, have no fear.  If this happens to you, just casually wait outside the bathroom.  If you are lucky, your wonder man/woman will walk by.  As they approach, ask if you can use their foot and motion down to the oh-so-obvious tissue.  If they are willing to help, they will step on the toilet paper and free you from your doom.  To thank them, ask them to buy you a drink, or if you don't drink (like me) ask them to buy you an ice cream cone or something (the ice cream cone was not one of the options in the book but that is what I would ask for).  *Que laughter*  This strategy is ridiculous to say the least. First of all, what kind of kook wants to stand outside of the bathroom with toilet paper on their shoe?  Not me.  Second, how long are you supposed to wait there? And, lets be honest, how often do you see your ideal man/woman walk past the bathroom?  From my experience, you are gonna be waiting there a long time.  Finally, if they are the ones getting the toilet paper from your shoe, why are do they have to buy the drink? Or ice cream cone or whatever.  Maybe its just me but I feel like there are some pretty major flaws in this plan.  How about avoid the situation all together and do it yourself?  Another interesting tidbit I found was the chapter about the male flirting stance.  Apparently, when a man is trying to show interest in a woman, he stands a certain way.  Here are the steps:
1) His feet will be positioned 18 inches apart
2) A few of his fingers will be in his pocket or in his belt loop
3) His stomach will be sucked in
4) His chest will be puffed out
5) Finally, his eyebrows will be raised
So, I had one of my friends follow these steps and lets just say if any man stood like that he would earn my pity not my interest.  Anyway, if you enjoy a good laugh and need a few tips on how to get your flirt on, I highly recommend this guide.